Episode 69: Sex, Bats & Taxes
A TWO-DAY-LONG BACCHANALIAN SEX PARTY!!! MY FAVORITE HUMANS!!! A list of really unsexy words in a very sexy voice!!! SOME STEAMY ROMANTIC TRYSTS!!! PURE RAW CHEMISTRY!!! BATS!!! THE MASS EZ PASS HOLD MUSIC!!! I EAT BOYS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST?!? More like women this week, but ok (ohh god did I really just say that) & I mean it’s ridiculously awkward, uncomfortable, and a little steamy... what else were you expecting from the 69th episode?
Excerpt from the show:
“Isn’t this supposed to be sexy? Well, we’re gonna try our hardest and by we I mean me and by hardest I mean men hardest.
Well, it’s been 2 weeks. And ohh boy it’s been a heck of a two weeks. So much can change in 2 weeks. Everything can change in 2 weeks. Apparently, if you listen when the universe screams at you that’s a good thing? And my little universe has gotten so rich so quickly. But more on that later. But I’ll give you a teaser, in the last two weeks I moved into a new place, with my ex who I had forgotten is literally one of my favorite humans on the planet, a dear friend and sensual embodiment coach came to visit (AND SAY IN MY GUEST ROOM) for 3 magical days, we got sexy and went out dancing, I cooked for a two day long polyamorous sexy bacchanalian party, and it got extra steamy, I have seen countless lovely friends, my most recent ex came to visit for a night, and I slept very little, and my whole life was showered in blessings. But first, here is a list of really unsexy words said in a very sexy voice, because how else are we supposed to start the 69th episode? Alright here goes: moist, moist moist moist, crisis, taxes, unemployment, bats, sledding, taxidermy, mountain dew, colonoscopy, final exam, corn husks, garbage disposal, clowns, parking ticket, the mass EZ pass hold Music, the plague, baggy gym shorts, spiders, dysfunction, soap dish, colonists, fire ants, toilet paper, cactus, loser, frumpy, deli slices, tuna fish salad, crustaceans, frozen peas.
Alright well, that’s plenty of that for the next decade. So let’s not do that again. Alright moving on, that make anyone else uncomfortable or just me? No? Well, where do I start? I think I’ll just start with some music because y’all I’m gonna draw out all these juicy tidbits for as long as I can. So hmm, the real question is do I play the playlist I made for this bacchanal and make this a super sexy off-air special? I mean, the upsides, I could swear. And y’all know I bite my tongue for half of the show trying not to do that, and I could play you some super sexy music, or I could just do a normal show and tell you all about my wild few weeks, well you know minus all the dirty stuff from the beginning of the week… I mean, but you know you want to hear all the depraved and delicious details… but on the downside is that the show won’t air on the radio, and that’s kind of the whole point here. We are bringing back public access radio, and it’s super fun! Well, I guess I’ll have to just make it as pg as a sexy 2 weeks can be. And the sexy two weeks started off with a super sexy moment between me and that human who I did Awkward Sexy Time about many many moons ago. And can I just say, I never thought anything would happen between me and them, and I never thought a moment that wasn’t naked and horizontal could be so erotic? But ohh boy was it. My cheek pressed up against the V in their button-down, the crisp fall air around us, my racing racing heart, their arms wrapped around me, their cheek pressed against the top of my head, the scent of the small of their neck, my hands pressed against their back, the tension, the pure raw chemistry you could have cut with a knife. The music that was playing on my phone in my back pocket, the stars, midnight, my heart racing racing racing. And then we both just ran away…. So hey, it’s a sexy PG-level story. We did it. Alright, bases covered.
So to start us off for the evening I have a sexy smoldering number, ‘Word Of Mouth’ by Allan Rayman, followed by a beautifully haunting new release ‘Weird Goodbyes’ (an apt title for this particular situation) by The National and Bon Iver alright folks, let’s get sexy, let’s get weird, and let’s enjoy some music. I’ll be back with more after this sumptuous sultry musical break.”
